I can't believe how badly I've failed myself. I set off with this amazing goal and I really believed I could do it. Instead, once again, I just gave up. It wasn't that I couldn't do it. I know I was more than capable. I guess I just lacked the willpower, and I let life get in the way. I let work be my excuse. I had to work long hours so I worked through lunch... skipped the gym because I was so tired from working the long hours... and ate a terribly unhealthy dinner.
Usually I try to find the humor in things, but I can't even find a sliver of haha in this. I'm so disappointed in myself. I don't want to go on this way, and it's so hard without having someone to do it with me. I can't let that be my reason for not following through. I'm so close to that breaking point, I'm ready to throw my hands in the air and say, "Jesus, take the wheel". Ok, I couldn't resist that one. In all seriousness though, I'm ashamed. I feel like I'll never be good enough. I want to be. I have to start again.
Tomorrow it is. I'm going to get to where I want to be so I can have the life that I know I deserve. Please believe in me and have faith in me. I need all the believing and faith I can get... I don't know if mine alone is enough.
Usually I try to find the humor in things, but I can't even find a sliver of haha in this. I'm so disappointed in myself. I don't want to go on this way, and it's so hard without having someone to do it with me. I can't let that be my reason for not following through. I'm so close to that breaking point, I'm ready to throw my hands in the air and say, "Jesus, take the wheel". Ok, I couldn't resist that one. In all seriousness though, I'm ashamed. I feel like I'll never be good enough. I want to be. I have to start again.
Tomorrow it is. I'm going to get to where I want to be so I can have the life that I know I deserve. Please believe in me and have faith in me. I need all the believing and faith I can get... I don't know if mine alone is enough.
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